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- Why You Don’t Feel Grateful (And Why That’s Not a Failure)
Why You Don’t Feel Grateful (And Why That’s Not a Failure)
If gratitude feels fake right now, that’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong—it’s a sign you’re still human.
Gavin Kemp
March 23, 2025
In partnership with
Welcome to Campaign 9 – The Shadow Side of Gratitude
This isn’t a typical gratitude series.
Over the next six weeks, we’ll explore what most people don’t talk about: the parts of gratitude that feel messy, complicated, and hard to reach.
This is a safe space, even when gratitude doesn’t come easily.
Let’s begin with resistance and why not feeling grateful doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
Week-by-Week Progress Tracker
Week 1: When Gratitude Feels Forced (You Are Here)
Week 2: The Guilt of Wanting More (Coming Soon)
Week 3: Gratitude & Grief – Thankful and Heartbroken
Week 4: Gratitude in an Unfair World
Week 5: Envy, Shame, and the Comparison Trap
Week 6: Holding Both – Rebuilding a Deeper Practice
Opening Reflection
Let’s be honest.
Some mornings, staring at a gratitude prompt feels like being asked to lie.
You know you’re meant to feel thankful. You know the science. You’ve read the quotes.
But there you sit, staring at a blank page, and nothing rises up.
Not joy. Not clarity. Just that quiet question.
“What if I’ve lost the plot?”
This Week’s Emotional Truth
Gratitude often becomes performative before it becomes transformative.
We start with good intentions, but over time, it can start to feel like a script we’re forcing ourselves to read.
What if you didn’t feel blocked because you’re ungrateful but because something unspoken is asking to be seen first?
How to Hold This
Journaling Method: The Resistance Map
Today, don’t start with what you’re grateful for.
Start with what’s in the way.
In your journal, draw a simple T-chart.
Left Side: “I don’t feel grateful because…”
Let it all out. Be honest. No judgement. No fixing.
Right Side: “But if I could feel grateful, I might start with…”
Let this be softer. Not a performance. Just permission to name what still might be worth noticing.
Even if it’s small.
Even if it’s just that you made time to write at all.
Need a nudge? Here’s one way it might look on the page…
I don’t feel grateful because…
I’m tired of pretending everything’s fine when it isn’t.
My job feels meaningless, and I don’t know what I’m working toward.
I’m angry that people expect me to be “positive” when I feel stuck.
Gratitude feels like one more thing I’m failing at.
But if I could feel grateful, I might start with…
The quiet moment I had this morning before my phone lit up.
My friend who texted just to check in—she didn’t have to.
The cup of tea I made without rushing. It actually helped.
The fact I’m writing this. I didn’t give up today.
The Reframe
You don’t need to feel grateful to begin again.
You just need to stop pretending you don’t feel anything at all.
Affirmation
“I don’t have to force gratitude to find it.
Even resistance is something worth noticing.”
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Gratitude Gem
“True gratitude begins when we stop pretending to feel it.”
Call to Action
Take five quiet minutes tonight.
Open your journal. Don’t chase a feeling.
Just sit with the question:
What’s in the way of gratitude right now?
That’s your practice.
That’s enough.
Until next week,
Gavin
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